2010/04/16

How to Know For Sure Who God Wants You to Marry (con traduccion)


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How to Know For Sure Who God Wants You to Marry
(Notes from the Christian Singles Conference with Steve Cornell)

Marriage is an exclusive permanent relationship between one man and woman. It's God's doing from the beginning as stated in Genesis 1:24...For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife for they shall become one flesh.

Questions every single person needs to consider:
1.) Should I marry?: Reasons for Marriage:
1. Completion- a helper complimentary to the other.
2. Companionship- someone to keep you company.
3. Communication- reflect God's image to others.
4. Constraint- I Corinthians 7:9
5. Continuance- Continue God's heritage by having kids.

2.) Main Sources of Conflict:
(Children only intensify the 5 sources)
*Money *In-laws
*Sex *Roles
*Communication

Factors Against Marriage:
1. Theological Factor- (Isiah 53:6) We're selfish & self-centered.
2. Cultural Factor- Maximum enjoyment, little effort. The cultural
attitude is to "Service me well or I'll move on." We don't have to put up with pain & difficulties.
3. Social Factor- Men & women are different so that affects the marriage.
4. Practical Factor-
5. Ecclesial- Diminished importance of church leaders.

2.) Whom should I marry?
I Corinthinians 7:39 is the only explicit directive of who God wants us to marry...The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Commandment of Dating
Thou shall use your brain- Let your head lead your heart. It's tough to talk yourself out of a relationship when your heart's wrapped up in it.
The heart is a precious treasure so use sufficient data to protect it.

Analyze the relationship:
Ask questions so that you get to know each other. Don't wait till after you're engaged or married to discover something is unsolvable or intolerable.

Self Analysis- Other Analysis- Together Analysis-
Evaluate yourself. Evaluate the other. Evaluate you as a couple.

*If the love is real, your relationship has the time to slow down and examine itself because there's no substitute for time & experience. Both are needed to know what you got. The no hurry policy will benefit you. (If you're in such a hurry, you probably feel another four letter "L" word...LUST.)

*Patience isn't like height, something you have or lack. You can learn patience and improve it as a skill. Doing so will create a stronger relationship because anything you have to wait for will have more value to you.

Mature vs. Immature Person
* Maturity has nothing to do with age or personality. It's more about a person's experiences and their attitude towards life.
* Child-like behavior is mature while childish behavior is immature.
* If one of you isn't mature, don't abandon the relationship. Look for growth. Growth and movement are signs that maturity can happen.

Mature Characteristics
*Practices unselfishness (meaning doesn't act like a selfish brat.)
*Shows the Fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:21).
*Has the ability to admit when wrong.
*Shows wisdom by being fair, self-controlled & considerate.
*Accepts, understands & appreciates who the other is as well as who he or she's becoming.
*Dedicated to making a great marriage no matter how difficult it may be.
Immature Characteristics
*Unreliable
*Seeks immediate gratification
*Quick tempered
*Self pity
*Manipulative
*Jealous
*Carries a grudge
*Bitter (which can be destructive to others as well)

5 Guidelines for Relationships:
1.) Wives and husbands are teammates not opponents.
2.) They should value and respect each other.
3.) Acknowledge selfishness. ("It was selfish of me..." Call it what it is)
4.) Keep your physical relationship active and satisfying as stated in I Corinthinians 7:5.
Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control.
5.) Stay close to God.
7 Essential Considerations
These can be included on our mental checklist (along with other values and character traits we consider important) when we're considering a marriage partner.
You can marry with confidence if the person fulfills all this criteria:

1.) Must marry a believer. It's important to find out what each of you believes about Jesus Christ.
2.) Must be a fully devoted follower. If not, then you'll be unable to share the most important part of your life with the person you're supposed to be most intimate with.
3.) Must be capable of fulfilling husband/wife role. Discuss how each of you understands the roles of males/females in ministry and marriage.
4.) Seeking Godly council from people who are willing to tell you the truth even if it means risking the friendship. God gives you these people for a reason.
5.) Does your life direction fit perfect with the one you're considering?
Whatever your driving interests might be, you need to understand them then decide where your partner will stand in relation to those pursuits then communicate that information so there's no misunderstanding about it after marriage.
6.) How well does your gifts and personality relate to the one you're considering?
7.) Marry the one whose spiritual and commitment to life you admire.
Till you meet your GOIA* man/woman, you should live life to the fullest by:
*GOIA- Godly Outgoing Intelligent Attractive


1.) Reading the Bible since it's the foundation of our faith that guide us through scripture
2.) Communicating with God himself through prayer
3.) Maintaining friendships
4.) Serving your ministry because the goal of life is to not marry but to use your talents/ gifts to help meet the needs of others.
5.) Engaging in an assortment of interesting activities because singles are more flexible than married couples in trying new things.

Book suggestions:
Before the Ring (William L. Coleman)
Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship (Joshua Harris)
I Kissed Dating Goodbye (Joshua Harris)



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